Adventure Beyond the Cognitive
We are feeling creatures who think.
The cave that you don't want to go into is the cave that you must go into.Chapter 21, The Big Bold Mindset®
What is the difference between the rational brain and the emotional brain?
According to Bessel van der Kolk, the rational brain is the youngest part, about 30% of the area inside your skull, and deals with goals, time and planning. The older emotional brain handles safety, threat, comfort, pain and pleasure. Under threat they work independently, which is why understanding why you feel doesn’t change how you feel.
"You do know there's more than talk therapy, right?"
In my twenties, if anyone had suggested a therapist, I'd have rolled my eyes. By my late thirties my tech start-up was struggling and it was souring my marriage. I got a business coach, and that began years of coaching and counselling.
It helped, but something was missing. Driving down the M4 in my late forties, I told Lis, a highly respected expert in mental health, about a frustration at home I couldn't solve.
Her question wrong-footed me. Talking keeps things in the realm of thinking. Some of what drives us sits deeper, in the body. That one question began a journey that changed everything.
What experiences shaped you?
Can you recall strong emotional experiences from your life?
On a scale of 1 to 100, how big was their impact? It's a sliding scale, not on or off.
Where do you know what to do, but still don't do it?
Understanding why you feel something doesn't change how you feel.
Psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk describes a rational brain and an older emotional brain. Under threat they can work independently, and no amount of insight silences the alarm bell.
Big T and small t
Big T trauma
Severe events like war, disasters or serious accidents.
Small t trauma
Repeated or smaller experiences, like bullying or parents separating, can shape us just as much.
The wrong tool
Trying to think your way out of an emotional pattern is like hammering a nail with a screwdriver.
If something here brings up a lot for you, talk to your GP or a qualified therapist.
The eight Big Bold characteristics
Score yourself from 1 to 100 on each. Pick the one area where you could improve most, and write down what you'll do about it.
Mindset ideas work best when you understand why you sometimes get in your own way.
The single biggest chokehold on any business is the psychology of its leaders.The phrase that kept Caspar going
Three experiments
This is still a young field and different approaches work for different people. Run your own experiments and find what works for you.
An emotions notebook
When a strong emotion shows up, note what happened, what you felt and where you felt it in your body.
Coaching or therapy
If you've never tried it, it's a gateway to understanding how you work.
Body-based approaches
Caspar has tried approaches like EMDR and kinesiology. Explore them with a qualified practitioner.
Notice, note, look for the pattern
For one week, note each time a strong emotion shows up: what happened, what you felt, and where you felt it. On Sunday, look for the pattern.
Score the eight characteristics
Turn the eight characteristics into a team conversation about how you work.
Run this with Caspar in the room
The 20-minute version above works on its own. With Caspar in the room it goes further: he brings the stories behind Adventure Beyond the Cognitive, then takes your team through the exercise live, so everyone leaves with an experiment they have chosen themselves.
- Creator of The Big Bold Mindset®
- Leadership keynote speaker: events in over 38 countries, for over 400 organisations going through change
- 2x round the world sailor
- Former CFO (multiple exits), with a background at KPMG
“Hager Group invited Caspar to talk to 500 people about resilience and how to adapt in times of crisis. I wish I could’ve heard him talk all day.”
Caspar has worked with organisations including BAE Systems, Burberry, GSK, Intuit, INEOS Styrolution, Johnson & Johnson, Nuffield Health, Pearson, Sage, Suntory and Thales.
Questions about Adventure Beyond the Cognitive
Why can’t you think your way out of an emotional problem?
Because it sits in the emotional brain, not the rational one. Rationalising your way out is like using a screwdriver to hammer a nail. Van der Kolk says that when the emotional brain signals danger, no amount of insight will silence it.
What is the difference between big T and small t trauma?
Gabor Maté distinguishes big “T” Trauma, severe events such as war, abuse or serious accidents, from small “t” trauma, such as bullying, emotional neglect or parental separation. Small “t” trauma can accumulate over time and be just as disruptive in shaping behaviour.
What does going beyond cognitive mean?
Mindset work usually focuses on how you think. Going beyond cognitive means working with how you feel, because emotional experiences are held in the body. Caspar has tried talk therapy, EMDR and kinesiology, and believes this work should be a regular monthly event.
- Beyond Cognitive
- Caspar’s term for approaches that work with the emotional brain and the body, not just how you think, to shift deep emotional patterns.
- Defining emotional experience
- Caspar’s more helpful way of describing trauma: an experience that leaves a lasting imprint shaping your behaviours going forward.
More from Caspar on this
Short reads that take this principle further, with the stories behind it.
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This is Chapter 21 of The Big Bold Mindset®
The full chapter has the whole story, the research and more leaders who lived it.
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