Rewrite the Narrative
Build a shared story you both want.
It is the most human thing for any of us to be seen, heard and understood.Chapter 7, The Big Bold Mindset
Going to work with the argument still ringing in my ears.
We had two young children. My business was struggling and I was working long hours. At home, a long string of unresolved arguments had left me in a dark place.
We weren't listening to each other, and we weren't working as a team. It was corrosive to my mental health and to my ability to do my best work.
Is a broken home life the price of ambition? I don't believe it has to be. What changed things for us was learning to listen deeply and create a shared story of the future, together.
Do you have a shared story of the future?
If you're in a relationship, do you have an exciting story of the future you created together?
How much time have you invested in how you work as a home team?
Where could these skills help you at work?
Support at home fuels progress at work.
Studies link supportive partners with more job satisfaction and less burnout, and emotional support from close relationships with a better chance of reaching your goals.
Why it matters
Distraction
A painful situation at home drains focus, energy and money.
A stable base
A shared story of the future gives you a supportive base to work from.
A leadership skill
The process that builds a shared story at home builds one at work too.
Reshma Saujani: life and work together
Saujani talks about work-life integration rather than work-life balance, and about putting mental health and home life first so you can do your best work.
She's part of a new generation of leaders who see a strong home life as part of high performance, not a trade-off against it.
Focus on the life in front of you. Not the challenges behind you.Caspar Craven
Deep Listening
Active listening is listening only. Deep Listening is listening and then creating, together. Caspar created it for home and now uses it at work.
One open question
At home: "What is truly important to you in life?" At work: "What would make you proud if we achieved it together?" Each person writes their answers.
One person is heard
A asks, B answers. A writes down everything, asks "anything else?", then reads it back until B says "yes, you've understood me".
Swap
Now B listens and A is heard, in exactly the same way.
Find what you share
With a highlighter, mark only the things you both hold. These are your building blocks.
Create
Build an exciting story of the future using only the shared pieces.
Keep it visible
Put the story where you'll see it. A drawer won't cut it.
Ask one searching question
Ask someone at home: what is truly important to you in life? Write down every word. Ask "anything else?" until they've finished. Then read it back until they say you've understood.
Deep Listening at work
Use the work question and pairs. People who feel heard give far more.
Want Caspar to take your team through this? casparcraven.com