Master Your Emotions
Master your emotions, or they master you.
Weakness + Introspection = Progress.Chapter 18, The Big Bold Mindset
Ego. Blame. Victim.
It took me years to face my own patterns. Ego: I'm right and you're wrong. Blame: it's your fault, not mine. Victim: things are being done to me and I'm helpless.
The victim pattern stayed hidden the longest. All three were set early in life and played out for far too long.
Staring at those weaknesses was painful. The reward came when I could see a situation play out and not react the way I once did.
What's your emotional home under pressure?
When the pressure's on, what's your default response?
Grab a pen. What patterns do you see repeating?
What would the people who know you best say?
You find what you look for.
Look around you now and count everything that's red. Take 30 seconds. Done? Now, how many green things did you see? When we tell our brains to look for something, we find it. Patterns are the same.
Look inward, not just outward
Grit isn't enough
Setting your face against the wind closes down time to reflect, so patterns repeat.
Patterns show under pressure
How we do anything is how we do everything.
Leaders go first
When leaders face their own emotions, they create safer teams.
Jeff Weiner: compassion as a principle
Weiner talked openly about stress and well-being, and shared personal stories with his teams. By being open about his own challenges, he made it safer for others.
He's one of a growing number of leaders who see that how we lead has to evolve.
None of us are the finished article.Caspar Craven
The WIP formula
Work in Progress: Weakness + Introspection = Progress. Three steps, and the middle one is the hardest.
Find the pattern
Note your repeating patterns. Then ask people you trust: what's my single biggest weakness? Write it down. Don't argue.
Sit with it
Caspar wrote BLAME on a sheet of paper and stuck it on his bathroom mirror. Keep it front of mind.
Notice the change
Watch your responses under pressure. Note when you choose differently. Keep going.
Ask one honest question
Ask one person you trust: what's the single biggest thing holding me back? Write down exactly what they say. Don't argue. Thank them, then sit with it for a week.
Patterns in the team
Teams have patterns too. Name them without blame and you can change them.
Want Caspar to take your team through this? casparcraven.com